THE INTERNAL FINANCIAL STRUGGLE
From the first time I received a paycheck at the age of 16, the internal financial struggle has been a tough one.
For the majority of my life I have made the wrong decisions financially. It was not until my mid-twenties that I started really getting more serious about my finances. Throughout this time the very best education that I have received on my finances has been through all my countless mistakes.
The Internal financial struggles
It is hard to look back some days on the choices that I made when I was younger, but I choose to for a reason. I learn the best in every area of my life when I am faced with my failures and regret. Poor decisions and the consequences of those decisions can teach an incredible lesson. Through these experiences, I often receive a solid education on what I never want to do again.
Life has a way of helping us to learn these lessons and grow if we allow ourselves to accept the truth. I could choose to blame circumstances in my past for my life and financial failures but I do not. I am both the one responsible for my past mistakes and the one responsible to build a better future.
I have discovered that experiencing failure like I have, has been the best way for me to learn. I realize that I am not perfect and every lesson learned is one I will grow through. Don’t get me wrong I still fear failure, but my relationship with failure has changed a bit. I now have a healthier acceptance for failure and a realization that failure is not an end but an opportunity for a new beginning.
Failures in life that taught me the most
Bad decisions in my career and life
Not asking enough questions while learning something new
Failing to communicate when I needed more clarification for fear of looking inexperienced (In all of these situations I was)
Always believing that I am expected to know everything and be perfect. I have come to realize that I never will be perfect. In many areas in life there will always be things that I just do not know or understand. It is in these situations that I have opportunities for growth.
Poor financial decisions
Not paying attention to my budget and overspending
Being dishonest with myself or others about my financial situation
Ignoring a financial situation until it was out of control
Using student loans as additional income to live on while in college
Treating credit cards as an extension of my income when I needed or wanted to finance anything
Not tithing – As a Christian tithing is one of the most important financial choices you can make. I failed this one often and I do regret it. God has blessed me immensely and continues to and I owe him far more than 10% of my income.
Paying bills – especially medical bills without questioning what I am paying for in advance
Doing my own taxes for years when my tax advisor was able to save us more than I ever saved not paying for one
Not starting a 401k or beginning to plan for retirement at a younger age
This list could go on and on, especially the list of my financial mistakes. The best part however is that each mistake has taught me a valuable lesson. I have learned to focus on the bigger picture with my finances, to consider my financial future & to seek help from trusted sources. Seeking help from those I trust can be crucial to a better outcome when I do not know which way to proceed.
Recognizing potential financial pitfalls
In the past year, I have been blessed to have experienced career growth at my job. I accepted a better-paying position that has led to some additional income and my husband has done the same. We have also had some extra income on hand because of my student loan payments being placed on hold due to the Pandemic and also because of multiple stimulus checks. It has been great having some extra money for a change and I feel very blessed since a lot of people have not been as fortunate.
One thing that I have been very keenly aware of is my response to this income increase. I have seen my attitude and my views on my finances begin to slowly shift in a way that I told myself would never happen again. I have started to view things through a different lens, one that causes me to overspend and once again become less frugal.
More aware of my spending
As a frugal woman, I am usually aware of every dollar that comes in and goes out. When I find myself overspending or becoming lax with my finances, I try to quickly check myself so that I do not end up regretting my choices. In recognizing these behaviors and opting for better choices I have been able to make some better choices during this time. I have chosen to intentionally save more, pay down debt and choose the cheaper options when possible despite the increased income. By doing this I realize that I am setting up my future better with each choice I make today and ensuring that my debt will be paid down much faster.
Finally more debt payoff success
Recently my husband and I received a second stimulus check. Like many Americans we chose to pay off more debt. We chose to use the remaining stimulus to pay off the last of our vehicle loan. What a huge relief to no longer owe anything on our vehicle and for the first time in our lives we have no car payment. Paying our vehicle off freed up an additional $160 a month which we are putting to better use. We are choosing to use that to fund Roth IRA’s and contribute to an account for our daughter. It might be hard sometimes to keep the internal financial struggle in check, but it is possible. If I can keep this internal financial struggle from controlling me, I know that you can also.
Remember your struggles are not the end
If you have made financial mistakes, it is not the end…. Remember that every mistake has a lesson to teach, and every lesson learned leaves you wiser than before. Accept the lessons and choose to grow through these experiences. You never know, you might be able to help someone someday prevent the same costly mistakes.
