JOY AND THE ROLE FORGIVENESS PLAYS
When joy is hard to find and you feel like giving up just remember you are not alone. We all go through difficult times especially when financial strain is part of our lives. I’m currently going through one of those times in my life. My finances have improved significantly but they are not perfect and neither is my life.
Joy and forgiveness in my own life
When I talk about discovering joy in the hard times believe me I have experienced many situations in life that have tried to steal my joy. I wrote a post this past year about some of the tough situations I faced just this past year. I had been struggling for many years with a family situation that hurt very deeply. I had spent years caring for a child whom I loved but was not my own. This child belonged to a couple whom I loved deeply but did not understand that my caring for her was out of love for them all and not to hurt them. The child was removed by children’s services because she was not safe where she had been and needed a safe place to live. The pain that I felt throughout this entire situation was deep and dealing with this situation was not easy. I am grateful that this is now in the past. This young girl is now a young woman and is doing very well for herself. The choice my husband and I had to make to take her in and care for her is one I will never regret. However, the struggle and forgiveness involved have taken me years to fully cope with.
How do you discover joy when your joy meter is drained?
Remind yourself how far you have come. You did not get where you are today over night and you will not accomplish anything worth accomplishing quickly. Give yourself time and be patient with your progress.
Surround yourself with others who can encourage and support you on your journey. We are not meant to do this all alone. Find others who are on the same journey as you are or understand your struggles and spend sometime with them. Looking for a support group for some hurts, habits or hang ups in your personal life? I wrote previously about a ministry my husband and I were involved in that might be helpful. Celebrate Recovery
Take some time away from whatever is draining your joy. Is it family, job, financial? Whatever might be causing this joy depletion is ultimately the thing you may need to step back from even if just for a day. Often there is very little or no time that we can take away from the situation at hand. If you can step back for even a short time consider this a blessing and give yourself a break.
If you like to write or are creative in some way. Take some time to focus on something creative. For me this would be writing because I find it therapeutic in almost every struggle in my life. Sometimes when I am struggling with a specific situation I find writing a post or even a poem can help bring me joy.
What causes joy depletion in our lives?
There can be many things that deplete or drain our joy. Often the things that steal our joy are the very same things that bring us joy. Our friends and family, our partners or spouses, the careers we have chosen and even our passions. Right now I’m in the midst of a joy draining situation involving multiple factors and they are all things that typically bring me joy.
What can help us rediscover the joy in these areas of our life?
Prayer or meditation. Not everyone believes in the power of prayer but I do. Many situations in life I just never would have gotten through without the power of prayer. I went through a terrible family situation in 2011 that without prayer would have been impossible. My sibling went to prison, my husband and I took custody of some children involved and my life was forever changed on that day. The pain experienced and the devastating circumstances were beyond my control but not beyond God’s. This was one moment in life where prayer made all the difference and helped me to once again discover joy in my life.
Getting out of the current situation. Take a break and step back for just a bit. Reflect on the situation and what you can control. Remind yourself that although things might be hard now these hard times will not last forever.
The role of forgiveness in rediscovering joy
In so many situations in life the loss of joy and need for forgiveness go hand in hand. This would be true whether the need for forgiveness is of another individual or even your past self. Sometimes we can get angry with ourselves and get into a cycle of blame that is both unhealthy and will steal our joy. Sometimes situations we are placed in can leave us needing to forgive others that have caused us pain or left us with a mess to clean up whether this is financially or emotionally.
To realize if forgiveness is what you need start by asking yourself these questions
Question #1 What is stealing my joy and who do I blame for the lack of joy I am experiencing in this situation?
Question #2 Is forgiveness required or am I incorrectly placing blame where it is not valid?
Always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE
If you are going through a difficult time right now. You and I are really no different we are both struggling but I am also learning to deal in a healthy way with my debt and my past financial struggles. I have discovered many ways to deal with my difficult financial situation but I have often found that to do this requires working on my emotional situation also. Many times when our finances are a mess this is a result of an emotional spending problem or often a bad relationship or family situation. This is not always the case but I do see emotional stability as a common problem in managing our finances. This often stems from a lack of contentment in our life or a loved one who might be taking advantage of us financially. Either one of these situations is lacking one thing the ability to say I cannot buy joy for myself and I cannot buy anyone’s love or their faithfulness.
Is counseling what I need?
If you need to obtain some counseling to get past a difficult situation there is no shame in this. I have seen a counselor off an on for years to deal with issues from my past and it has been well worth the time and money. Sometimes having an impartial trained person to help you sort through your emotional mess can help to get you back on track faster and more successfully. Life is not easy and so many situations we face in life are very different. As I mentioned earlier we are not meant to do life alone. We are placed here to help each other through life and each person is given various gifts to help others. Everyone has different gifts that they can use to help others and you are no different. Once you have dealt with your own difficult situation through counseling you can often help others right where you were through your painful experience and the lessons learned. Keep in mind that many insurance companies actually offer some benefits that may assist you in paying for counseling. I highly suggest checking with them in advance before your first visit. They can suggest some in network providers that you can see that will cost less overall. In the past when I obtained counseling it only cost me a small copay for each therapy visit.
How can forgiveness help me discover joy?
Forgiveness can be very freeing for the person who chooses to forgive. Often when you chose to forgive you realize that you are actually releasing yourself from the anxiety and stress involved in holding onto blame. When you blame yourself or someone else for something that has hurt you, you often cannot focus on anything else. It hurts your ability to become your best self and ultimately chase your dreams. From today forward you can chose to forgive and move forward into an amazing future. You can discover a future where you learn from the past and find joy in your future inspired by the pain that has now helped you grow. You do not have to spend one more day trapped in this cycle of blaming yourself or anyone else for your lack of joy. You are responsible from this day forward for the success and joy that you CAN experience.
