DO NOT LET YOUR PAST CONTROL YOUR FUTURE

Today’s post is different from many that I have written. I typically write about finance and discovering joy, but today I write about something very personal. This is something that many struggle with, but cannot seem to release themselves from. If you have experienced the pain of abuse in any form and you struggle to find joy, I have written this for you. Although sometimes past hurts can lead to financial troubles, there is more value found in the freedom from an abusive past than any amount of money you could ever make. Living with the pain of an abusive past can steal your joy quicker than anything but only if you allow it to.

Do not let your past control your future

Each of us has a story. Lessons learned through painful experiences that have shaped us into who we are today. Each one of us makes a choice with our past on how we chose to handle it. We can chose to allow our past to define us or chose to rise above the pain and sadness and become who we are meant to be.

I want to encourage you today in whatever hurts that you have experienced to leave your hurts with God. Choose today to embrace a brighter future. Step forward with faith into a more joyful future and allow God to help you heal. Chose today to forgive, not for your offender but for you. Release the anger that has previously held you back from moving forward joyfully. Part of the reason we forgive is to release ourselves from our own anger and bitterness so that healing can take place. When you hold these things in your heart they begin have control over your emotions and your life. Anger and bitterness have the ability to destroy you and turn you into a person that you do not want to be.

Freedom is found in forgiveness

Do you want to remain trapped in this cycle of pain and bitterness? I am almost certain that what you crave is a life of joy and contentment. You want to be free from all of these painful experiences and things that are holding you back. Let me recommend some things which may help you move forward from these painful struggles which you have grown accustomed to. My life is far from perfect but thanks to the wisdom of a few great friends I have learned to wake up everyday and make the conscious decision to forgive. Why? Because I want freedom. I want this joy in life that I have always dreamed of and I do not want the pain of the past to dominate my life. Forgiveness is where victory over our past begins as we step forth into a brighter future filled with hope.

A future filled with promise

Each day is a gift. We wake up every morning and make a decision on that day how we will respond to life. Our future joy and success is determined by our daily attitudes and actions. I want a future filled with peace, joy & prosperity. I have realized that holding onto my past is keeping me from discovering that future.

My story, my choices, and my future

In the past I dealt with a lot of abuse and pain. I am choosing to forgive not for my abusers but for myself. As I mentioned above forgiveness is for me not for them. I want to live a life of purpose and to do this requires me to forgive. My life is still affected by this abuse every single day making forgiveness very difficult. Sometimes as I struggle to cope with the effects of my abusive past I find this extremely challenging. Finding the courage to face these challenges makes my daily life so much tougher. Explaining the lasting effects of this abuse would not begin to help you understand where I am coming from. The only way someone can really understand is to experience something similar and face these challenges on their own. If you yourself are a survivor of abuse you can understand what I mean from your own perspective. Each abuse situation presents its own unique struggles which we must learn to overcome. 

In my life I choose joy, I choose forgiveness, and I choose a life free of bitterness towards my past abusers. I believe that everything happens for a reason including situations like mine. I am here today because of God’s grace and I am an overcomer only because He has given me strength and courage every day. Life can be challenging in so many ways but if you trust God with your future and choose a life like I have, you can overcome these many challenges. The choice is yours how you move forward, but remember you can choose a life of joy and a brighter future from today forward.

What happens if we allow the past to control us

I once knew a man who had an abusive father. He struggled for years with forgiving his father. Nothing he ever did would be good enough for his dad and he realized that. He tried hard to forgive his dad and accept that he could never receive his father’s acceptance. His dad physically, emotionally and verbally abused the young man and he would never forget these things making forgiveness very tough. He allowed the pain to burrow deep in his soul and it broke him in many ways. He spent years running from the ghosts of his past and in doing so he made a lot of bad choices. He made choices that not only affected him but also affected his relationships with everyone he loved. One day his oldest son would make a heartbreaking choice that would land him in prison. The reality of his son’s fate hit the man very hard. He realized that his son’s choices were a result of many of his own and that his son, although old enough to make the right choices, chose the wrong ones for a reason. The reason he made these choices is due to a relationship with his father who would never accept him. A father who abused him emotionally, physically and mentally similar to his own father. This man realized eventually that as a result of his struggle to forgive his own father that he had in turn abused his own son in a very similar way. His son’s choices determined his fate not his father. He was an adult who made poor choices based on his pain just like his own dad once had. This man realized that his own relationship with his father, lack of healing and forgiveness had set his son on a path of destruction. A son or daughter who is abused often becomes like their own abuser if they are not very careful. When you have been abused it requires a very conscious decision to move past the lessons taught us by abusive parents. You see the choices that we make affect more than just our life they affect our loved ones also. This is why we choose to forgive and not dwell on the past. To live a life of freedom from abuse and to overcome requires a choice to do so daily and a determination to set an example our abuser did not.

You can choose to break the cycle

The affects of abuse are often generational and hurt more than just one person. They leave a footprint on many lives that comes in contact with the abuser and the abused. If you have been abused make sure that the impact you leave on the lives of those you come in contact with is a positive one. Be the one that breaks the abuse cycle and choose to rise above the pain of your past. Do not let your past control your future. Choose today to forgive and to break the cycle and discover the joy in life which you have deserved all along. Joy is possible for all of us because joy is a personal choice which is not dependent on our circumstances.

Finding hope is a choice you make

I could try to tie all of this to financial matters and say something like “ Not having your personal life together makes it harder to have your financial life together”. Or I could write “Struggling, anger and depression cost you more money than you realize”, but odds are you know that. If I could offer you the best advice for finding real joy and lasting contentment, it would be this. Forgiveness can free you from a crushing burden and being thankful brings more joy than you realize. Making those often difficult decisions to forgive and move on, will help you move forward and bring hope for the future.